Author Topic: Good jokes  (Read 796 times)

Offline Andyeilio

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Good jokes
« on: October 03, 2008, 07:39:19 PM »
Heard a good one today, thats not politically incorrect, well not much.

During a church service, an elderly lady admits quietly to her husband of forty two years that she has just done a huge smelly silent fart.

She asks her husband what she should do, deny, leave?

Her husband remarks;

You need to replace the batteries in your hearing aid!!!
« Last Edit: October 03, 2008, 07:42:45 PM by Andyeilio »
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Offline Mole Bach

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Re: Good jokes
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2008, 07:50:18 PM »
I refuse to be drawn into topics when alcohol has been consumed.
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Offline JimmyTheHoover

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Re: Good jokes
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2008, 09:03:13 PM »
I refuse to be drawn into topics when alcohol has been consumed.

Obviously didn't work then M-B  :D

...so are we keeping this "joke" topic for "publicly consumable" jokes ? - that is for when somebody like Andy actually posts a funny joke ?  :lol:

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Offline Andyeilio

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Re: Good jokes
« Reply #3 on: October 03, 2008, 10:51:47 PM »
I refuse to be drawn into topics when alcohol has been consumed.

Obviously didn't work then M-B  :D

...so are we keeping this "joke" topic for "publicly consumable" jokes ? - that is for when somebody like Andy actually posts a funny joke ?  :lol:

Jim

I'm waiting Joover
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Offline JimmyTheHoover

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Re: Good jokes
« Reply #4 on: October 04, 2008, 12:10:58 PM »
I refuse to be drawn into topics when alcohol has been consumed.

Obviously didn't work then M-B  :D

...so are we keeping this "joke" topic for "publicly consumable" jokes ? - that is for when somebody like Andy actually posts a funny joke ?  :lol:

Jim



I'm waiting Joover

I hope that you're not waiting for a laugh....... could be a long wait Andy......  :lol:
« Last Edit: October 04, 2008, 12:14:23 PM by JimmyTheHoover »
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Offline JimmyTheHoover

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Re: Good jokes
« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2008, 12:19:18 PM »
Not long after the Cold War began, it so happened that a socialist Welshman - John Jones by name - was in London. He happened to be sitting in a park one day when a man in a trench coat came and sat beside him.
- Voud you be interested in spying on ze Briddish? asked the stranger in a thick Russian accent.

- "Sure I would, boyo", said John Jones cheerfully. "For we Welsh have been oppressed for years. I'm on your side!"

- Very well... Ze password vill be, "Ze geese fly high over ze frozen pond while ze sun shines." Got that?

- "Right you are", says John. '"Ze geese fly high over ze frozen pond while ze sun shines. What do I have to do now?"

- Nuzzing for ze moment... Ve vill activate you ven ve haf need of you. It may be a year, it may be 10 years, but ve vill. Vill you be ready? You vill remember ze password?

- "I will", said John eagerly, and returned to his small home village in Wales.

Although John waited eagerly, the call never came.

Ten years, twenty, thirty ... until 1999, when a command came from the Russian HQ to activate agent John Jones immediately.

A Russian agent headed for the little village where John Jones lived, only to find there were 300 John Joneses listed for the area. He scratched his head and decided that he would go to the local pub and try the password until he found his man.

So, the Russian agent headed off to the local pub and ordered a pint of beer. He saw a man standing alone at one end of the counter, and thought he might as well begin. He sidled across to the solitary drinker, watching the crowd about him with cautious eyes.

- Nice evening, said the Russian.

- "Yes", said the drinker.

- Is your name Jones? asked the Russian.

- "Yes", said the drinker

- Funny, isn't it, said the Russian agent, the geese fly high over the wintry pond while the sun shines.

The drinker tossed back his beer and said:

- "It's not me you'll be wanting. You want Jones the spy, over by the window".

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Offline Liam

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Re: Good jokes
« Reply #6 on: October 04, 2008, 12:24:37 PM »
I was walking along with the wife earlier when we saw a magpie.

My wife said, "that's bad luck".

I said, "yeah, being associated with Newcastle".
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Offline Lloydie

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Re: Good jokes
« Reply #7 on: October 04, 2008, 12:27:08 PM »
I was walking along with the wife earlier when we saw a magpie.

My wife said, "that's bad luck".

I said, "yeah, being associated with Newcastle".


ROTFLMAO!!

gonna pass that one on to my nephew who has the misfortune of being a 'toon supporter
The banker man grows fat
Working man grows thin
It's all happened before
And it'll all happen again

Offline Andyeilio

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Re: Good jokes
« Reply #8 on: October 04, 2008, 05:45:49 PM »
Not long after the Cold War began, it so happened that a socialist Welshman - John Jones by name - was in London. He happened to be sitting in a park one day when a man in a trench coat came and sat beside him.
- Voud you be interested in spying on ze Briddish? asked the stranger in a thick Russian accent.

- "Sure I would, boyo", said John Jones cheerfully. "For we Welsh have been oppressed for years. I'm on your side!"

- Very well... Ze password vill be, "Ze geese fly high over ze frozen pond while ze sun shines." Got that?

- "Right you are", says John. '"Ze geese fly high over ze frozen pond while ze sun shines. What do I have to do now?"

- Nuzzing for ze moment... Ve vill activate you ven ve haf need of you. It may be a year, it may be 10 years, but ve vill. Vill you be ready? You vill remember ze password?

- "I will", said John eagerly, and returned to his small home village in Wales.

Although John waited eagerly, the call never came.

Ten years, twenty, thirty ... until 1999, when a command came from the Russian HQ to activate agent John Jones immediately.

A Russian agent headed for the little village where John Jones lived, only to find there were 300 John Joneses listed for the area. He scratched his head and decided that he would go to the local pub and try the password until he found his man.

So, the Russian agent headed off to the local pub and ordered a pint of beer. He saw a man standing alone at one end of the counter, and thought he might as well begin. He sidled across to the solitary drinker, watching the crowd about him with cautious eyes.

- Nice evening, said the Russian.

- "Yes", said the drinker.

- Is your name Jones? asked the Russian.

- "Yes", said the drinker

- Funny, isn't it, said the Russian agent, the geese fly high over the wintry pond while the sun shines.

The drinker tossed back his beer and said:

- "It's not me you'll be wanting. You want Jones the spy, over by the window".



 :shock: ](*,)
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