Hi Andy , glad to read that you are thinking a lot about this problem as it is definitely something to work upon.
Sound advice from Huw , although it is much easier said than done. I have a few things which I do which help with relaxation you may want to try out : -
1) In yoi - before you do anything dont stand like a gunslinger with your arms poised and rigid ...just relax your arms totally so your posture is very natural , not 'karate natural' but just ..natural. Keep this feeling when training.
2) When you make gedan barai ( or any technique ) tuck the elbow of your hikite arm further back and relax your shoulder
3) As you move forward from this position to do a punch or block try and avoid any movement in the shoulder of the arm about to deliver the technique and make sure your elbow doesn't come out to the side as you do the technique.
4) Lower your stance more and relax your upper body as this will make a better connection with the floor = more power.
5) When you kiai dont have a progressive kiai ( Which you do ..you go yyyyyyyaaaaaayyyyyy -hard to write / explain ) make it sharper and shorter so that it isn't like a build up but more like an explosion ..you can practice this, but make sure the neighbors aren't sleeping, without actually doing any techniques.
6) Try to forget the arm going out and focus on strong hikite while keeping your shoulder relaxed.
7) Timing when the relaxion is good make sure you time your stance and technique to finish together this will help kime
Last one ... 8 ) Shime - Kime your stance , not your hand /upper body the body will do it automatically if you concentrate on the stance element.So shock the floor by using kime in your stance.
Good luck mate , we are all behind you and you have really come on well in the last few months so perservere.

Oss!
Dave