Anwen - get well soon

[JimmyTheHoover]

Thanks Azzy - our guy returned to training last night - so much for "broken" 

Jim

[Azzy_Stealth]

Anwen went home from hospital this afternoon.
She says thanks to all who wished her well it really helped and supported her
Thanks all
x

[Moley]

What's the latest on Anwen ?

[Rachel]

I saw Anwen yesterday, the op went well but its back and forward to the hospital having checks and getting replastered as the swelling goes down She's battling on but is understandably fed up as she can't really do alot atm, id imagine if anyone has the time to drop by and say hello, any visitors would be much appreciated!!

[Doc Rob]

I'll bet you any sum you care to name that it was the Orthopaedic team and not our guys who wanted to manipulate the fracture in the ED.

A radius & ulna fracture almost always needs surgery and I would be very cross if any of my juniors attempted to fiddle around with one.

The only exception would be if the circulation or nerve function were compromised.

Hope Anwen is getting better!

[Mole Bach]

the Orthopaedic team

Ahhh, these are the ones that think the heart is for pumping antibiotics around the body ehh Rob 

It would take up a whole thread to post all the Ortho jokes.

[Huw]

It would take up a whole thread to post all the Ortho jokes.

Go for it

[JimmyTheHoover]

Well I'll kick it off with some from the great Peter Kay 

    *  3 orthopaedic surgeons took 5 days to do a jig-saw and were proud of their achievement
    * when asked why they were so proud they said because it said 3-5 years on the box

    * At an orthopaedic meeting how can you spot the academic orthopaedic surgeon?
    * He's the one who can just get his knuckles off the floor!

    * What's the difference between a carpenter and an orthopaedic surgeon?
    * A carpenter knows more than one antibiotic!

    * How do you hide a twenty pound note from an orthopaedic surgeon?
    * Put it in a text book!

    * How do you spot the orthopaedic surgeon's car in the car park?
    * It's the porsche with a comic on the back shelf!

    * The rule of halves describing an orthopaedic operation
    * The half asleep, keeping the half awake, being half butchered by the half witted

    * What's the difference between a rhinoceros and an orthopaedic surgeon?
    * One's thick-skinned, small-brained and charges a lot for no very good reason....the other's a rhinoceros.

    * What do you call two orthopaedic surgeons looking at a chest X-ray?
    * A double blind study.

    * The definition of shifting dullness - an orthopaedic ward round.

    * Why do anaesthetists take an instant dislike to orthopaedic surgeons?
    * Because it saves time

    * How do you get an Orthopaedic Surgeon to refer you to some one else?
    * Ask him the time

    * Why do orthopaedic surgeons make great lovers?
    * Because when they tell the theatre nurse something will take half an hour in reality it will take three hours.

    * A small group of orthopaedic surgeons have learned that there is more than one antibiotic
    * The hospital pharmacy is however not concerned as they can't spell them

    * How some Surgeons exaggerate their operative experience:
    * One case = "I have vast experience", two cases = "I have done case after case", three cases = "I have an extensive personal series"

    * (Theatre staff say) What's the difference between a puppy and an orthopaedic surgeon?
    * If you put a puppy in a room it will usually stop whining after an hour

    * An orthopaedic surgeon giving evidence told the court he was the best surgeon in the world, The judge objected to such arrogance
    * The orthopaedic surgeon pointed out he was under oath and had to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

    * What is the difference between God and an Orthopaedic surgeon?
    * God does not think he is an Orthopaedic surgeon.

    * Why do orthopaedic surgeons insist on wearing 'Surgeons Hoods' in theatre?
    * To avoid their heads  transluminating.

Things Orthopaedic Surgeons Sometimes Say.

    * "We might not make it better but we can sure make it different."
    * "If you scrub twice as fast, you only have to scrub half as long"
    * "I'd rather be lucky than good"
    * "Nothing spoils a good result as quickly as follow-up"
    * "This is hard enough to do when it's indicated, let alone on a case like this"
    * "I've cut it off twice and it's still too short"
    * Which hammer do you use for these screws ?
    * "One way to make sure a humerus doesn't heal is to operate on it"
    * "Orthopaedics is the specialty of complications"
    * The orthopaedic surgeon -- Strong as an ox, and half as bright!
    * If you've half a mind to do orthopaedics, you're over-qualified.
    * The modern holistic approach to orthopaedics.....you don't JUST treat the fracture, you treat the whole bone!
    * An orthopod is someone who can bench-press his own weight and spell cefuroxime.
    * Pass the micro adjuster nurse!
    * And finally just on more little tap with the hammer and .......
    * Just think of the movement at your ankle fusion site as a bonus
    * Shortening can be an advantage you know, he won't run off now, he'll just circle around
    * It's only a five minute operation sister
    * It's much more urgent than any possible general surgical case!
    * The heart, a thoracic organ whose primary function is to pump antibiotics around the body.

[Lloydie]

thanks chaps!  As I am currently awaiting an Orthopaedic assessment/op on my knee, I now think I'd be better doing it at home with the chain saw 

[Azzy_Stealth]

I agree with Lloydie.

Time and Place lads

[Lloydie]

Oh I don't know Azzy - it has motivated me to come up with a plan B for the dodgy knee!  I have seen a couple of peeps over the past few days, and the plan based on their advice is to take a couple of weeks off karate until the knee injury settles, get cycling to strengthen the supporting/stabilising muscles, underpin all this with a sh$tload of Voltarol, and then get back into training using that "RoboCop" knee support I bought a few years back.  Bit of luck it should hold out until the Orthopods get their chance to really screw it up 

[Azzy_Stealth]

Understand and agree docs know S#!t

[Lloydie]

Understand and agree docs know S#!t

So...that should be interesting next time Rob is against you 

[Azzy_Stealth]

Anytime 

[Doc Rob]

Nah, I play the long game in these cases - sooner or later he'll need us for something. Revenge is a dish best served cold...