Topic: Nerd Speak.

[GuyB]

With all due respect to my fellow physician - In the course of my own investigations, I have formulated the hypothesis that “plastic finger syndrome” is merely a secondary symptom of the much more fundamentally dangerous "credit card prolapse". Which, I now firmly believe,  is one of the few shopping related disorders to be *made worse* by the consumption of alchohol!

I have, however, seen many cases where the symptoms of "1st Shop Disorder" are clearly displayed (the throbbing vein, the fixed smile, the tightly clenched jaw and compulsive watch gazing).. to these patients I have recommended my own particular brew (2 parts vodka, 1 part Kahoola and a dash of milk over ice - to be taken approximately once per hour, until unconcious), by means of treatment.

[Huw]

I've often been a victim of "I can't find any shoes" - an opthalmic disorder of some description. Despite visiting a dozen shoe shops the poor woman "can't find any shoes".      

[GuyB]

I've often been a victim of "I can't find any shoes" - an opthalmic disorder of some description. Despite visiting a dozen shoe shops the poor woman "can't find any shoes".      

Hmm.. three parts Gin.. a dash of Bols Blu, Angustura bitters and a twist of lemon should clear that up in no time sonny.

This reminds me of a nasty case of "Nothinglooksrightitis" I saw recently. Cold sweats, sporadic temporary deafness and a state of permanent panic.. poor fellow..

[Mole Bach]

I've often been a victim of "I can't find any shoes"

Huw,

Watch this one, it is closely followed by “notinmysize virus”, a paranoid psychosis where nothing on the “rack” will fit them, although every size on Gods Earth is there from a 6 (“it’s not healthy to be that skinny”) to a 24 (“that’s how I’ll be if we carry on having take-away’s”).  The delusion is that the manufactures are in cahoots with each other, where all the nice clothes are in “MIDSIZE”, and a size 8 in one shop is a size 12 in the other, don’t DARE to disagree.

[gizmo]

GuyB wrote:

Usually occuring in the underwear section of M&S, the victim is suddenly struck with intense pain about either, or both, of his kneecaps.

Funnily enough this is when my motivation returns.

[Shari]

Arth has a disorder aswell it's SHOPPERITES it can be passed on from father to son and when both have it,  it's a nightmere for the woman.

Symptoms,

Blank expression.
Muttering " that will do"
Colour blind
The most serious symptom
 parks in the furthest car park away from shops especially in Wrexham so to discourage buying too much to carry back to the car.